Letters to Jake

Heya Jakey!

Just a quick note, I have been busy as hell, which is a good thing. One of my pregnant goats, Jodi, gave birth today! Joanne, the other one is due any day too, I am quite excited about it… I went to the barn about 10:00am, and there she was, just born, how cool was that. I do have some pics I will post later, but it has been a very very busy day, and I am just beat. Dan and I just got in from getting a cultivator I bought at an auction last Thursday, that was a 6 hour drive from hell… and I got stuck in a HUGE mud hole that was hiding… I followed Uncle Dan in my Kia, thank god for farmers and big tractors, and Uncle Dan, that cultivator was all over the road. But thats a whole other story.

My baby chickens and baby turkeys come Thursday and I still have to finish the garage, I’m making it a nursery for them for a couple of weeks, and I have the baby goats in the barn, and I am getting the gardens ready, and I’m thinking of you daily Jake, and knowing just how much you would get a kick out of all my baby critters and my farm auction buys and me being a farmer…

I’m having fun, and I smile for you too Sunshine.

Mom

Hi Jake,

Sorry I haven’t written, but I have had a very busy month. It started with Jason coming home for 3 weeks. We had a great time, he’s looking good, the girl he met on the boat, Josie, has really been good for him.

Jason had bought a scarf and toque in Montreal when he went there to see the Leafs and Canadiens play, it is a striped matching set, I called him “Metrosexual Man” Jas didn’t really get it, but I swear he was the only guy in Alberta with a matching scarf and toque, striped no less! All he needed was the mittens and he was set….

While Jas was here, he helped me enclose the barn for the goats I bought. We met up with everyone for dinner the night he flew back to Toronto. Sharon and the girls and Grandma came with me to the airport to see him off, when he went through the security, they did everything but strip search him, I blame his scarf and toque set, I did try to warn him! This is Alberta not Montreal!

So… Jason left on the 11th, my new friend Joanie, who’s also my groomer, she has a big truck and trailer so off we went on our big adventure to buy me some goats. It was a 3 hour drive that took us 4.5, because we had to stop and shop, at the Farm supply store! I love that place as much as the hardware store. Anyway we get to Christine’s, the goat lady’s place, and finally get my goats, but we are women, so we chat, and Joanie is admiring Christine dog, I casually say I am looking for something to guard the goats, and Christine tells me that a goat friend of hers has a dog just like hers that she wants to get rid of because she has 2 and she only needs one. Well…. a phone call is made, a map is drawn, and if we stretch our imagination just a bit, it IS so on the way home… we are off!

After only one wrong turn, we get there, Joanie falls in love with every animal right away, oh yeah, you think I’m bad with rescuing dogs… Joanie rescues horses! and any other stray that wanders by. Her husband threatened her with divorce if she came home with ANYTHING!!! (I think he was serious too) We spent about quite a bit of time with the 2 dogs, a brother and a sister, they wanted to get rid of the female because she scared there little kids. To be honest Sasha, that’s her name, was the nicer dog, and she was fixed too. These dogs are huge and they fix them according to weight. Sasha cost $400.00 to fix. They only wanted the original $300.00 they paid for her. Sounded like a good deal to me. Sold!

Now, we have a one horse trailer with 4 goats behind us, there is a compartment in front of the trailer we kind of thought we would put her in, but Joanie didn’t like that. She swore me to secrecy, because hubby Mike would have a fit, I promised to clean the truck at the farm, we put Sasha in the back seat of Joanie’s monster new shiny expensive truck! (gotta love animal lovers!)

Now I will tell you about the rest of my month tomorrow ok? I have some videos I shot of the goats this weekend, it took me this long to get it uploaded, my ftp program crashed and I needed to get another one.

BAH!!! I thought I had it… but I don’t, no video yet… it is uploaded, but it won’t play, I shall get Jason the wonder boy on it…

Here is some pics of them tho.

I don’t really have a good one of Joanne, the other pregnant yearling, I will get a better one of her up too.

I love you Jakey and think you daily, spring is here and I know you would love it.

Mom

Hello Jakey,

Well it’s Easter Monday, Dan, Joycelyn and Doren were down, Beki surprised us too. They all left yesterday. It has been cold and grey and snowing all week, just miserable. Between that and Strep Throat, I have again been hibernating. But the sun finally did come out on Friday, even though it was windy as hell and very cold. Yesterday was warmer, and hopefully it’s really spring now. Jason and I have been working on the barn, we have to finish it today, tomorrow I go and get my goats.

Grandma and I have done some early planting, germinating of the seeds for the garden, but I really do have to stay small as it is obvious that I am the only one that is going to be doing the work here, and there is no way I can manage to do all that I want all by my self. Well it will keep me busy and shut me up Jakey, not a bad thing really…

So Jason leaves on Wednesday, time really is flying by, I am going to get the boy up now so we can go get the barn finished and the fencing up.

I miss you Jakey, and think of you all the time,

Mom

Hey Jake!

Well I finally braved it and got a tattoo for you. I hope you’re happy I went through sooo much pain, I was almost in tears, but I’m a wimp! I chose to get a lime wedge not only because it was what you used with your favorite drink, but because it represents who you are to me. You are the fun, caring, exciting cousin that I love and miss everyday. A lime represents the fun Jake that I will always remember and that’s why I got it tattooed on my body. I hope you like it Jake, it’s the only tattoo I’ll get, maybe. I was thinking of getting the Japanese symbol for family right above it because my family means more to me then anything! I love you cousin and I miss you more everyday!

Love always,

Justine xoxo

p.s. thank you for smiling on my birthday, the sun was so bright all day!

Here is my Tattoo

Hey Jake,

I returned home to the farm yesterday, it was a fun few days away. Thursday afternoon after Jason and I got to Uncle Jim’s, we went to look at goats. I bought a mom and her kid, plus two pregnant yearlings. I even milked the mom! She is a Toggenburg, which is an old swiss breed, all of the goats a very friendly and have been handled a lot, so that is great for Grandma and I. We can’t have mean goats running us over… I am going to set up the barn and the fencing for them, and then make arrangements to get them down here in the next week or so.

Saturday Jason and I drove to Red Deer, we stopped in at Simone’s to see her new house. It’s very nice Jake, and there is even a fire pit in the back yard. Tucker is looking good, her has a new playmate, Nina, she stays with them while her owner is working in the patch. I forget who that is, one of Simone’s friends. The cats are there too.

Simone gave me a heart shaped locket with your ashes in it, and Simone gave me your old necklace back. You know the one, I ear Uncle Dennis’s necklace, the Doctor gave it to me in the hospital when he died, I bought you and Jason similar ones. I gotta admit, that was kinda rough, I really appreciated it, but it did make me cry.

After that, it was definitely time for a beer, so Uncle Dan came over and said hello too, then we went over to Cousin Reds’. His team, Buffalo Sabers was playing our Awesome Toronto Maple Leafs! Game 2 of a double header.Friday the Leafs fell apart and blew a 4-1 lead in the 3rd period to lose 4-5 to the buggers and Doren was riding Jason pretty hard. The good news is Toronto won! Not bad since they are in first place and we need a miracle to even make the playoffs. Much much later… 3:00 to be exact, we tossed Jason on a southbound bus to go to see his buddy Rich in Waterton National Park where he works, and Uncle Dan and I went home.

Oh yeah…. the running joke is Jason lost his wallet AGAIN! When he was here last time he lost it for a month and only found it a day or two before he had to leave, hopefully he has left it at your Dad’s, or else he is FUBAR’ed… but he does have is passport… But that is why he is riding for 6 hours on a bus instead of driving, he doesn’t have his lisence… silly boy.

So now it’s Sunday, and time for the big auction. I have specifically come to Red Deer for a specialty animal auction, miniature cattle, miniature donkeys, rare goats and sheep etc.. I am quite excited about this and am really looking forward to it. So I drag Uncle Dan out of the house and off we go heading south for 45 minutes to this awesome auction. NOT!! What a disappointment! There is nothing here but a bunch of crap and a couple of ratty looking animals. simply unique auction my ass! I should charge those boneheads gas money… what a waste of time… So Uncle Dan & I do what we do best on a Sunday, go shopping! Uncle Dan is thrilled. hehehe. After an hour or so, he convinces me to go back to Doren’s and watch TV. It was an easy sell. Yesterday I finished up my shopping and here I am Jakey, that was my long long week-end.

I thought of you lots, and do miss you so,

Love Mom

Heya Jake,

I have become an avid supporter of our local Jr B hockey team the Killam Wheat Kings, Go Wheaties!. They are made it all the way to the finals in the playoffs and last night was game 1 in the series. They are up against the Saddle Lake Warriors. The Warriors are big ugly goons that I think are dirty nasty players and I hate them on sight.

Last night Uncle Dan and Auntie Joycelyn came up after work, and I encouraged the whole fandamily to join me in coming out to cheer of the Mean Green Machine AKA Killam Wheat Kings! I always thought my boys where a big team, most are over 6′ and 200 lbs. They looked like tiny kids out there last night, tiny fast kids tho!

So the puck drops, and right away bodies start flying, OUR bodies dammit! But our boys shake it off and start skating, and scoring, 1-0! Go Wheaties! We take a nasty nasty hit, our boy finally gets up in obvious pain holding his shoulder and skates right to the dressing room. Saddle Lake gets a 2 minute and a 10 minute misconduct. I guess to be fair I should mention we also have a guy in the box for the same, but they deserved it! ( not that I’m biased! hehehe) Anyway… we keep skating they keep tossing us around… whatever… 2-0 Wheaties! 3-0 Wheaties! 3-1 Wheaties! ok.. they can score too whatever… period is over time for a beer… Second period is more of the same, BUT this time we actually line up one of there guys and just drill him, its a clean hit, but the guy doesn’t move for like 2-3 minutes, it was kinda scary, nobody wanted to see him hurt, but I will admit, I was happy to see a saddle Lake guy on the ice squished instead of our guys… he finally got up, just had the wind knocked out of him, Saddle Lake calmed down for a bit after that… by this time the score is 6-3 we seem to have the game well in hand. Beer time.
Period 3. We have a really good goalie I have to say. Saddle Lake gets a break away, our goalie comes out of the net to take away the angle and doesn’t he get “tangled” up with the sumbitch! our goalie is in agony on the ice, and suddenly the game shifts. Saddle lake scores 2 quick ones, we answer back with 1 of our own 7-5 this game is wild now. 7-6 bastards are just peppering our poor rookie second goalie, we get another 8-6, so do they, bastards! 8-7, we are just exhausted beating off these monster body slammers and out-skating these boys, but we score once more, because we need the insurance, this isn’t hockey, it’s a damn football score! 8-7! 6 minutes left, we gotta hold them off, nope… 8-9, damn this is one exciting hockey game. The frustration is getting to Saddle Lake, one of the players not only trips our guy, but then when he’s down, he starts punching him in the head! double minor 4 minutes, there is only 6 minutes left in the game sweet! They hold us off, less then 2 minutes left… time out. Saddle lake pulls the goalie, they are all over us, we actually have a couple chances to put the puck in the empty net, but the boys are so exhausted its all they can do to stay upright, and keep Saddle Lake off our net, but they do! What a game! They play here at home on Friday and then next Wednesday.

Jason and I are off shortly to go to Uncle Jim and Auntie Sharon’s, then Saturday we are going to Red Deer, then Sunday morning Jason is hopping on a bus to go see Rich at Waterton National Park and I am coming back here to the farm. So I will write you on Monday and let you know how it went Jakey. You would have loved the game last night Sunshine, it was your kind of hockey.

I love you.

Mom

Good morning Jake,

Jason should be on the ground right now and Doren should be at the airport picking him up. I just got back from taking Ryley the mother cat to the vet’s to get fixed, the dogs know something exciting is going to happen today, they can feel it! I guess the fact I keep teasing them isn’t helping! Ha ha!

The dogs love Doren, and I am telling them that Cousin Red is coming, then I say “Where”s Jason?” They bark like mad, tear up and down the stairs and run through the house with Granny yelling at them. hehehe…

Yeah I’m kinda evil, what else is new? Gotta take the laugh where you can sweetheart. Uncle Dan and Auntie Joycelyn are coming tonight for an Alberta BBQ, I have beef and bison steaks ready for the big homecoming.

I am off Jakey, I wish you were here, I know you are in spirit,

Love you lots,

mom

Hello Jake

It’s been 6 months now since you died. This last month I have just been numb, I don’t feel much of anything, happy sad, nothing. I just don’t give a shit. I guess that kind of shows, since I haven’t written you more then 3 letters in the last month. I haven’t done anything in the last month tho, yeah I’ve been sick, but still, I have gone from my bed to the couch to the deck for a smoke to here. I stare at the TV, stare at the computer screen, close my eyes, try to sleep, and do it all over again. Spring is coming, the sun is sometimes shining, the days are sometimes warm, the snow is definitely melting, so I really should get busy doing spring things, and I guess I will, maybe this week.

I’ve been listening to music, and I’ve made myself a CD, I think of it as your CD. Maybe if I get my shit together I will put it up here. It suits my head space right now….

Jason is coming out on Monday, thats a good thing, he will kick me in the ass and we will probably be scrapping by Wednesday. At least I will feel something. I hope.

I love you Jakey, and miss you more then words can ever say,

Mom

Hey Jake!

Well it’s my 18th birthday today!! I’m pretty excited because now I can go and get my tattoo. I have decided on what I’m getting, it’s a memorial tattoo for you my dear cousin! I was going to get a regular memorial tattoo, but then I decided that you were more then just a normal person and it wouldn’t really reflect you. So I have decided that I’m getting a lime wedge with your name and date in it. I decided on the lime because limes are fun and so are you, so my tattoo would be more Jake. I also decided on the lime because at the funeral, your mom and brother told me that you always came prepared with your own limes. I can’t wait, but I must addmit I’m a little scared, I hate needles, but it’ll be worth it in the end. When I get the tattoo I will send a picture to your mom so she can post it on your site. Well big cousin, I don’t know what else to say other then I miss you like crazy. I need a big Jake hug, everyone does. We all miss you Jake, I can’t wait to see you in heaven! I love you

Justine

xoxo

p.s. my mom got that trailer, she’s very excited about it, it has a hottub and lots of other neat stuff I can’t wait to move back home with her. I know that you are watching over us and it feels great to have big Jake as a guardian angel. I love you cousin

Good Morning Jake,

I know I have been avoiding coming here. I have used my cold as an excuse, the fact is I have sat down here many many times and started to write you, but I just couldn’t. A shrink would give me a reason I’m sure, there is probably a “step in the process” to explain it, but that all bullshit. The fact is I am just pretending that you are not dead. You are not gone, you are dead. I know that, I probably even accept that, but I am very angry that you are Jake. And I’m ok with that.

You will not believe what Cousin Red and I did this weekend. We went on a gun safety course! Yep… I’m gonna be a red-neck too! I have a pick-up truck, 4×4 of course, now I’m going to get a gun! I can’t be a farmer with animals without a gun to kill them varmints that want to eat my critters…

Jason flew into Toronto Friday, he’s safe and sound with David for the week. He is coming out here on Monday for about 3 weeks, then flying back to Toronto for a week, then flying to Chicago for 2 weeks to meet up with Josie, then flying back to Toronto for a week, then the silly boy is flying out here again… to meet his cruise ship! He signed up for another cruise. The boy is in love methinks… he signed up for another tour to be with Josie, if it all works out, it could be interesting Jake. you would really like Josie. I met her at Christmas, it was just like when I met Simone for the first time, remember Jake? I knew right away you were different, and so was Jason. So we will see what happens.

Your Auntie Arleen is busy buying a house, she may have found one, she put an offer in yesterday. Auntie Chris and Uncle Craig are off this weekend on their bonus cruise, so everything is going good out here.

I am busy getting ready for planting, I have a ton of seeds, the weather is getting nice, the snow is melting and I am getting excited about that. Uncle Jim is going to be involved with the chickens, so that is excellent.

Thats all the news I have right now Jakey, I still have the funny story for you, but many next time sweety, I love and miss you more then words can say.

Mom